


Missing piece

by SmolSaltyBean



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, I also cried while writing this dont kill me, I was listening to walking while writing this, OT6, Sorry I miss them, Vixx - Freeform, cannon kind of, listen to walking while reading this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28742406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolSaltyBean/pseuds/SmolSaltyBean
Summary: After a long hiatus, VIXX finally has a comeback concert...but something is missing.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Missing piece

The line was huge. 

Sanghyuk was finally done with his military service and it was the first concert of VIXX since all the members had discharged...so the line was huge. Even international fans were standing in the line with handmade boards, lightsticks and the towels with VIXX written on them in their hands. 

The tickets for the event had been sold out so easily, in less than a day the event was completely sold out. 

The fans in front of the place where the concert was being held were excited, screaming from time to time, chanting to songs and screaming the name of the members as they waited for the doors of the venue to open. 

The backstage was just as noisy as outside.

Orders were being screamed from left to right as the members continued getting ready. Hakyeon was checking his make-up, Taekwoon and Jaehwan were finishing their hair and the younger ones were playing around as they waited.

Meanwhile their managers checked social media to see what fans were saying about the event, a last check on the stage was being made and the stylist kept scolding the younger members about not ruining their clothes. 

“Do you think it’ll be a full house?” Hyuk asked as he looked at the other members. It’s been a while since they had a concert together, he was excited and nervous at the same time. 

“Everything got sold out in a matter of hours.” Hakyeon replied before smiling at the maknae. “Don’t worry too much, it’ll be great.” 

“Let’s just enjoy the concerts.” Ravi added, smiling as well as to give some assurance to the younger member. But deep down he was also very nervous. 

“VIXX STAND BY!” 

The doors of the venue started to open and everyone started to rush in, some even pushing their way in, even if everyone had marked seats. “Eish, so annoying.” 

The tension and exhilaration could be felt as the venue started to fill in. You could hear people talking but it was impossible to make out the words being said. It felt as if everyone in a metro station were talking loudly at the same time. 

The members of VIXX were standing next to the entrance of the stage, fixing their microphones before joining everyone in a circle to make a cheer.

“Let’s enjoy tonight.” The leader said after the cheer and the members got ready to enter the stage.

The lights on the venue got turned off and the cheers got louder as people knew what was coming. A melody started to play, VIXX’s newest song was opening the concert. 

Once the song was over, the members of VIXX stood next to each other to greet the fans that had come to the event. Loud cheers could be heard after each of the members presented themselves.

They were shining so brightly, too brightly. 

It looked almost as if they were unreachable, a star too far away to be touched. 

The 5 of them were untouchable. 

Even through the loud screams and cheers, Hongbin was quiet, just looking at them. It felt weird...looking up at the 5 of them instead of standing next to them. 

“It feels weird.” Hongbin whispered to himself, unhearable thanks to the loud shouts of joy from the rest of the crowd.

“It feels weird.” Hakyeon said seconds later and Hongbin almost thought Hakyeon had seen him or heard him, but Hakyeon's eyes were looking far away from him. 

“To make a concert like this after such a long time…” He continued. “it almost feels like our debut.” He added with a laugh. “but at the same time it doesn’t.”

Hakyeon paused for a second as he looked at the crowd of bright lightsticks dancing in the crowd, each light was the representation of at least one of the fans that had gone to cheer on them, and the lights were uncountable. 

“It feels...like I know this, but it also feels like I don’t.” He tried to explain his feelings. He had missed this, standing on the stage with the rest of his group. “everything feels so new, feels nostalgic as well...but most important…” 

...most important it feels incomplete.

Hakyeon couldn’t lie to himself. When he was doing headcount before going to the stage he recounted three times because he was just counting 5 people.

When rehearsing for the concert multiple times Hyuk, jaehwan and Taekwoon would forget to take on Hongbin’s parts in the older songs leaving his parts unsang. 

Everything felt...incomplete. 

“But most important it feels magical.”

But he couldn’t say that on stage. 

Hongbin looked at the ground at the leader’s words. His friends had told him not to go to the concert, why did he want to hurt and humiliate himself that way? But somewhere, in the depths of his soul...Hongbin had wanted to go to the concert to see if the members would...think of him or even spare him a glance.

But being there...just hurted. 

They seemed happy, the newest song was doing perfectly fine with just 5 voices. After leaving, lots of people told him VIXX songs were going to be imperfect without his voice...but the song seemed more than perfect.

The members moved on stage perfectly and really…

It almost looked as if this was the way it always had been. 

Hongbin couldn’t help himself but wonder from time to time if he had already been forgotten. The company deleted him easily, as if he had never been there, his twitch followers never mentioned the group as if it had never been a part of his life...even if he was the one to ask to not do so…

But most important the members continued on with their careers as 5...as if they weren’t affected at all…

The boards fans had made and chants didn’t hold his name anymore...the newest version of the lightstick also had just 5 names on it...replacing his name with the word “Starlights”.

Was he already forgotten?

As he was immersed in thoughts he missed the rest of the talk and just came back to reality when he heard a familiar beat being player, Scentist. 

He let out a heavy sigh, his body still remembered the dance, his vocal cords still ached to sing his parts in the song, but Leo was doing just fine by taking his place. 

Fans next to him screamed the fanchant loudly but Hongbin could just watch, he couldn’t feel the cheerful energy the fans seemed to share next to him, but he also couldn’t feel the proud energy the members shared between them.

It was dumb, but he felt alone. 

It was not the only time Hongbin felt alone or felt like he didn’t belong with VIXX. But usually when it would happen the members would be able to read him and help him through it. 

Now he really was alone. 

Song after song, the members danced perfectly, fitting like a puzzle, their voices resounding throughout the venue as fans sang the fanchant. 

Was it always like this? 

Was Hongbin being in VIXX just a feverish dream? 

Wonsik also asked himself that sometimes. 

Sometimes he would wake up in the morning, take his phone and search for Hongbin’s phone number to ask him if they should meet before practice but finding no save numbers under that name in his contact list.

Then he would remember Hongbin changed his phone number and none of the members ever asked around to see who had the new number. 

He then would remember plans they had made to meet with Hongbin but would never really happen because of the difference of schedules. 

Has Hongbin ever existed? Or was he just a feverish dream?

“Ravi hyung?” Hyuk woke the older up as he slightly shook him before walking towards the rest of the group. Ravi shook his head a bit, waking up from his trance. The song had finished and now the other 4 members were waiting for him as they stood in line to talk with the fans. 

As he looked at the other 4 members...the space on the stage next to them was empty...too empty, Ravi couldn’t fill that space alone. 

He hurried to reach the other members and put on a fake smile. “I got distracted.” He said. “As Hakyeon hyung said, performing as a group feels unreal, I think I’m still dreaming.” He covered the truth with a perfect lie and a practiced smile. 

The fans cheered again, a smile appeared on the members faces but Jaehwan couldn’t help but feel a guilty feeling inside his chest...almost...as if he had betrayed someone. 

In some way...he had. Even if the other members had tried to convince him that he had betrayed no one, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had. 

Weren’t they supposed to stay together, as 6? for ever? Weren’t they supposed to be VIXX if only there were 6 members?...Then why were they on stage under the name of VIXX if only 5 of them were there. 

Jaehwan couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling even as he rushed backstage to change for the next set of songs while Hakyeon performed his interlude.

The members started changing their clothes, moving quickly to get on stage on time, but Jaehwan’s movements were slow, getting on his manager’s nerves who started to rush him. 

“Jaehwan-ah.” Taekwoon called out to him as he moved closer to Jaehwan. “Are you okay?” 

“I don’t think this show was a good idea…” Jaehwan whispered as he finished getting ready and left the dressing room alongside Taekwoon. 

“Still with that?” Taekwoon asked. “We told you, you didn’t-” Jaehwan interrupted.

“You and I are no one to dictate if he feels betrayed or not.” 

Taekwoon stayed quiet at that. Everyone knew it was going to be a hard comeback. They hadn’t promoted as a group in a long time, so none of them really felt the emptiness there was until now. 

Taekwoon wanted to convince himself that everything was still the same as it was before everything happened, but for how long could he really keep pretending? 

At first he had felt betrayed by Hongbin, how could he leave them? But as time started to pass and the more he thought of it, the more he saw he was at fault as well. 

Where was he when everything happened?

Why did Hongbin lead with it alone for five months before taking the decision of leaving?

If Taekwoon had been there, with him, supporting him like always, providing an anchor to the younger ones of the group like he had always done...would things still be the same as it was before?...

He couldn’t help but wonder if he had done things differently...he could have changed this fate. 

“Stand by!” 

After a few minutes, they were allowed on stage again, but now, the small talk with Jaehwan was lingering on his head.

And not in a good moment. 

Hakyeon interlude had been the last interlude...this was the last section of the concert…

“We are reaching the ending,” Hyuk started and was interrupted by the boos and disappointment of the fans. “Don’t be like that, we can see each other tomorrow again!” Hyuk said.

Were they always this...distant...to their fans? 

Hongbin couldn’t help but wonder if this was what their fans felt during all concerts…

Even if all of them talked directly to Starlights...it felt somehow distant…

Or was this just how he felt? 

The more the concert advanced the more he regretted going there. Tears had started streaming down his face quietly and he tried to not make it obvious, but from time to time, the lights on the stage would reflect on his wet cheeks. 

It was ridiculous. 

He couldn’t wait for the concert to end and for him to be at home. 

When the encore song started playing Hongbin felt his heart fall to his feet.

Hyuk grimaced a bit. He could already felt the weird, heavy feeling in his chest as Walking started playing. 

For some fans this was just another fan song. 

For some others it was the song they released before a long hiatus for their military services.

But for VIXX and for some other fans…

It was their last song as 6. 

The members had suggested other songs for the encore. Navy and Shining gold, G.R.8.U, Love Letter...God, Hyuk even accepted to perform Super hero…

But the director insisted on this song. 

Were they going to be able to sing? During the rehearsals and practices they never managed to finish it. 

It just...didn’t feel okay to sing this without Hongbin there.

When they practiced for the first time, they couldn’t sing the first two verses without their voices cracking, after that, Leo nor Jaehwan could sing Hongbin’s parts without getting affected, and Hyuk just refused to sing it.

Really changing the song was easier. 

Hongbin let out a heavy, shaky sigh, can’t he just leave earlier? 

He was near the first rows of the crowd, so leaving would be quite difficult, but he really didn’t want to see this, he couldn’t, he wasn’t ready, not yet.

To be honest, Hongbin wanted to leave, but his feet wouldn’t move and he actually...was curious...who was going to replace him for that one song…

He found himself being curious with each song...curious of how was going to replace him in each song…

Whenever they would record a new song, each of them would sing the whole song and then they would get their parts assigned depending on how well their voices fit each part…

Hongbin always thought the other members fitted his parts more than himself...but he was given parts in songs because some fans were complaining he didn’t sing that much. 

“Maybe Hyuk.” Hongbin whispered putting a bet on the younger member, but as his part in the song arrived none of the members put their mics up. 

Instead Hongbin heard his own voice in the track of the song.

Yes, the director’s idea was better.

“Just play the instrumental of the song with Hongbin’s part being sung by him.”

That way, the song would feel complete.

That way, his existence in the group would feel real.

That way, they would stay as 6.

That way, he would know they were still there for him.

That way, if Hyuk closed his eyes, he could imagine Hongbin there.

Hongbin could hear the fans awing as Hongbin’s voice was heard and he could hear a couple of fans by his sides whispering “I miss him.” 

He swallowed the knot on his throat as he looked up at the members singing on the stage as he mouthed the words of the song. How much he missed it...how much he wanted to be up there, with them…

As the song finished, Wonsik and Jaehwan were in tears and Hakyeon’s eyes were teary, but still he was smiling as he hugged the other members.

Hongbin was never fond of physical interaction, especially no hugs, but he would give up anything to be part of that hug right now…

Hyuk laughed as he separated himself from the group hug and waved at the crowd, looking at the different rows filled with people who looked up at them. 

Looking at those people who had walked with them until here. 

Then, his eyes made contact with big familiar eyes.

Hakyeon gave his goodbye words, so did Taekwoon, Jaehwan and Ravi, but Hyuk remained quiet, his eyes glued to the ones of the person in the crowd.

Hongbin also didn’t avert his gaze. It was as if both of them had been caught in some kind of trances.

“Hyuk?” Hakyeon said before walking towards Hyuk and passing his hand in front of the younger’s view of sight.

Hyuk’s eyes slowly shifted from Hongbin’s to Hakyeon’s. “Ah...yes.” He said. “Thank you everyone for coming, it was great, thanks for supporting us.” Hyuk said as his eyes quickly shifted towards where Hongbin had been at, but now the space was empty.

Hyuk ran out of the stage towards the backstage confusing the other members and the staff that was waiting for the members backstage. Hyuk pushed past them as he hurried towards the general entrance of the venue. 

Once he reach the outside of the venue he looked around, he swears he saw Hongbin just now.

And so he saw him again.

Boarding the bus.

Hongbin thought he was ready, but he actually wasn’t ready to face them yet.

He was so shocked when Hyuk spotted him. 

There was no way he could face them.


End file.
